Not the Critic Who Counts
by Seikyn
Summary: Everyone fights for something. What does each member of AVALANCHE fight for?
1. Prologue: The Great Divide

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters,locations, or items of Final Fantasy VII, they belong to Square-Enix.  
  
Prologue  
  
The Great Divide  
  
"It is not the critic who counts, not the one who points out where the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes up short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotion and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of great achievement; and who, at worst if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat.  
  
Theodore Roosevelt  
  
Sorbonne, Paris  
  
April 23, 1910  
  
Cait Sith broke the silence.  
  
"Shinra's finished," the tiny cat said slowly, with an almost mournful tone.  
  
Cloud glared out the main viewport of the Highwind. His eyes first surveyed the surreal, suspended plates that made up the metropolis and let his eyes travel up. They wandered up the Shinra Headquarters to the smoldering wreckage of the top few floors, and further still, to the giant Meteor that adorned the heavens, glowing scarlet against the blue backdrop of the sky.  
  
"Meteor's going to fall in about..." he began.  
  
"Seven more days," Red XIII cut him off quietly. "That's what Grandfather said."  
  
Cloud turned to face his brilliant wolf-like friend. Though sitting and silent, his fiery red fur was ruffled in an agitated way.  
  
"Red, you want to see everyone in Cosmo Canyon again?"  
  
The beast paused before looking at him.  
  
"Yes," he said, a longing tone in his voice.  
  
Cloud turned to face Barret.  
  
"You want to see Marlene, right?  
  
The large man looked to the deck and shook his head.  
  
"Don't ask me that," he muttered.  
  
Cloud paced around the deck a few times, trying to collect his jumbled thoughts. There was just too much happening so quickly that it made it easy to forget the important things. He stopped and looked to his companions, who stood quietly, waiting for him to speak again.  
  
"We'll beat Sephiroth," he started. "Then, if we don't release the power of Holy in seven days, there won't be a planet to protect."  
  
Tears threatened to gather in his eyes, but he fought them back.  
  
"If we can't beat Sephiroth, it's as good as death for us. We'll just go a few days sooner than the rest who will die from Meteor," at this Cloud hung his head in a slight fit of depression.  
  
"Do not be thinking that you're going to lose before you even fight!" Barret's protest echoed throughout the silent bridge and seemed to bring Cloud back to life.  
  
"No!" Cloud countered. "What I meant was," he took a deep breath,"what are we all fighting for? Save the planet? For the future of the planet?"  
  
He shook his head.  
  
"Sure, that's all fine, but really, is that really how it is? For me, this is a personal feud. I want to beat Sephiroth and settle my past." He looked to each of them with a serious mask covering his face.  
  
"Saving the planet just happens to be part of that."  
  
Some in AVALANCHE were clearly appalled, but still, few others remained unchanged by his remark.  
  
"I've been thinking. I think we are all fighting for ourselves," Cloud struggled with his next words. "For ourselves, and that someone, something -whatever it is- that's important to us. That's what we're fighting for. That's why we keep up this battle for the planet."  
  
Barret stepped forward. Cloud should have know Barret would eventually give his two cents. Cloud nodded to the former leader of AVALANCHE, Barret acted as if he hadn't noticed Cloud's gesture.  
  
"You're right. It sounds cool saying it's to save the planet," Barret's voice dropped to a saddened level, "but I was the one who blew up that Mako Reactor. Looking back on it now, I can see that wasn't the right way to do things. I made a lot of innocent bystanders suffer."  
  
Barret looked to the gun that was grafted to his right arm.  
  
"At first, it was revenge against the Shinra for attacking my town, but now..." his voice trailed off for the first time looking deep in thought.  
  
"Yeah," he grunted to himself. "I'm fighting for Marlene."  
  
He looked to Cloud and raised his good hand into the air, clenched in a fist.  
  
"For Marlene," he bellowed. "For Marlene's future!"  
  
"Yeah, I guess I want to save the planet for Marlene's sake," Barret said, almost as an after-thought.  
  
Cloud put his hand on his friend's shoulder.  
  
"Go and see her. Make sure you're right, and come back," Cloud told him.  
  
"All of you," he said to the others, "Get off this ship and find your reasons for yourselves. I want you to make sure, then I want you to come back."  
  
Cid, leaning against the helm, piped in.  
  
"Maybe ain't none of us will come back," he shrugged. "Meteor's going to kill us anyway. Let's just forget about useless struggling!"  
  
Cloud banged his own shoulder with his opposite hand and said, "I know why I'm fighting. I'm fighting to save the planet."  
  
Even as he said them he knew those words sounded hollow to him.  
  
"There's something personal too," he continued. "A very personal memory that I have."  
  
Cloud turned to the others. "What about you all? I want all of you to find something within yourselves. If you don't find it, then that's okay too. You can't fight without a reason, right?"  
  
He looked to each of the people left in the room. "So I won't hold it against you if you don't come back."  
  
-------I just felt inspired to write this. I've just finished this part of the game and I used the inspiration to plow through my writer's block (I hate those things). There will be a chapter for each character, so look for updates. Please R&R. 


	2. Chapter One: Blade of Blood

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters,locations, or items of Final Fantasy VII, they belong to Square-Enix.  
  
Chapter One  
  
Blade of Blood  
  
"The final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands."  
  
---------Anne Frank  
  
The plains stretched out as far as he could see, but, unlike the peaceful land around him, the future was an enigma. He had watched the others leave, all going in their own seperate directions, and wondered how many of their paths would lead back to this place. How many would return to face the grim reality and follow him to Hell itself? He saw it in their eyes when they left, the future. They all had one, but he was still stuck in the past.  
  
Cloud Strife leaned back against the rock behind him, the Ultima sword laying across his lap. The light from the setting sun dancing across it's crystalline surface and reflected it into his icy, sad eyes. The blade, like his hands, appeared clean, but he knew they were both stained with the blood of countless people. How many anonymous Shinra soldiers' lives were taken by this legendary blade? How many futures, families, and friends had been left behind by the men and women he had slain?  
  
He glanced at Tifa, and caught her gazing at him from afar. It seemed that was what she had been doing during the extent of thier journeys and adventures togather. Cloud was no fool, he knew that she cared deeply for him, and at one time he thought that even she could love him. He once thought that they could share the twin suffering that bonded them togather, but, alas, it seemed that she was misguided in her affection.  
  
He'd known that they could never be. After Aeris's death they had grown closer, and he thought he could trust her. That idea came tumbling down even as he was adrift in Lifestream. She'd lied to him. He couldn't understand why. If she cared for him so much then why would she hide their past and go along with all the lies he had created for himself? Couldn't she see that he couldn't be all the things she hoped he would? He was too different now, too wrapped up in his blood-lust and the misery he would inflict on those who wronged him. Didn't she notice the blood that coated the very sword he would wield time and again in a futile struggle that no longer mattered to him?  
  
The blood of his sword also coated his hands. He raised his clenched fists and stared at them. The hands of a killer, a murderer. The reflection of his face on the stainless, glassy blade of the Ultima saddened him. The face of a killer.  
  
How could Aeris love such a face? How could she allow such blood-stained hands to embrace her, or help her up after she stumbled, or heal her wounds when she was injured? Did she ever see him as he really was? Cloud didn't think so.   
  
She only saw in him what she saw in Zack. Him and Zack were so much alike, but Cloud was a completely different person. Cloud fought because that was the only way he knew how to solve his problems. At least Zack had a cause that he believed in without a doubt, and fought for what was just and good. Cloud, in his lonely selfishness, fought only for himself. His struggle was for himself and the blood he craved to spill for the injustice.  
  
That was all that was left to him. The only ability he had had for a long time was to take life. He realized he'd never done anything intentionally to improve the lives of others. He smiled sarcastically at his reflection. It was humorous how the greed he'd hated festered inside of him.  
  
The thought of this whole insane quest ripped him apart on the inside. He knew what it was all about, the whole reason he kept going. For him it was about the past. He fought not for the future, but for the pain that had been dealt to him in the past. Everything that had been wrong in his life centered around the Shinra. It was because of the Shinra that his father had fought and died for them in the war. It was the Shinra's fault that he'd never known his father. It was they who created monsters like Hojo, Rufus, and Sephiroth.  
  
Sephiroth killed his family. Sephiroth killed Aeris. Sephiroth burned his town to the ground. Sephiroth used him as his own puppet. For those reasons, Sephioth would pay.  
  
Cloud had nothing left in life, nothing but pain and despair. The only thing he could do to make it all go away was to kill Sephiroth.  
  
Cloud Strife gazed into the darkened sky. Yes, he knew what he was fighting for. He fought for vengeance, for it was the only option left to him.  
  
----------I have found that I like getting into Cloud's head. I feel that there are so many directions his character can reasonably take. He does, truely, become one of those heroes that stay with you long after the credits roll. 


End file.
